I have had to handle the issue of partners harbouring secret grudges against the other’s parents and other members of the family for refusing to give their consent and blessing for their marriage.
You have to trust me on this one my friend, this secret grudges has killed alot of inlaw relationships and family bond. That moment when the family of your partner is found advising your partner against marrying you for one reason or the other.
That moment when your partner’s parents are refusing to give their blessing because from their assessment they don’t see the marriage as the right step in the right direction.
And yes this too – that moment when the very spiritual parents of your partner say they cannot feel a conviction after praying and fasting concerning you, when you know that you have done your homework spiritually and God has spoken a conviction to your heart.
More especially when you know that denominational and tribal bias is the main reason why your partner’s family is withholding their support.
There will always be a natural tendency to dislike them mentally, we usually will not want to admit it, but deep inside you just start growing a dislike for them because ‘they don’t like you’, ‘they hate you’, ‘they are supposed to be believers but see how they are treating this matter’, sometimes our thoughts even go as far as seeing them as wicked people.
Listen to me with your heart, if you must enjoy your marriage, you must first understand that all the activities your partner’s family is putting up is for the best interest of their daughter or son. They are not wicked people, they are only looking out for their own on the level that they can. It has nothing to do with you, and if you were to be in those shoes, you would also understand that you have a responsibility to protect your children when you perceive they are about to make mistake.
Love them still, some parents are just stubborn at the start, but later they soften up and give their support, so learn to love them all the same. Respect their opinion, and tackle the situation together with your partner. Give those secret grudges no space to breath in your heart. By the time they finally loosen up, they will see that you are the most loving person they could wish for, as at the time of disagreement they just did not know you too well.
READ: FAMILY TIES | Part II