Also Read: The choirmaster wants to marry me – Part2
When I told my mentor about the proposal. She looked at me as we sat in her living room and said,
‘Have you prayed about it?’
I frowned. ‘Yes.’ It wasn’t exactly a lie. I had thanked God for sending me a man committed to the same ministry as I was…or must I hear a voice? Isn’t this enough evidence that God is speaking? We were dedicated members of the choir. We were passionate about serving God together. We had the same vision. What else matters?
I didn’t understand why my mentor was indifferent about the whole thing. I left her house annoyed. When I got back to Benin, David picked me up at the park and that day I accepted his proposal.
Guess what happened next when I said Yes. Tears welled up his eyes. His hands were trembling as he held mine. I’d never seen a man so emotional like that. It made me love him more.
‘Thank you so much, Yewan. I was so scared you will say No.’
It didn’t take a month into the relationship before I discovered I had made a wrong choice. We began to have some serious misunderstandings and I was becoming uncomfortable with him.
‘Shade, you can’t be wasting your voice by singing only gospel songs. Look at the songs you wrote, they are mind blowing. If you want to hit it big with your kind of voice, you have to add something else to it.’
I was clearly pissed. ‘Something like what?’
He paused. ‘Your lyrics, you know. Add something that’ll motivate people to get crazy about your songs. Some little sexy words here and there. That’s what’s trending now. Let me tell you the truth, Christians are stingy. They want everything for free. If you continue like this, you’ll remain a pauper all your life. ’I stared at him shocked.‘ I’m not making sense at all?’
I nodded. ‘Yes.’
As the months rolled by, Daniel brought up new ideas that went against every principle I believed in. The relationship was stressing me out, making me worried and grumpy. Attending rehearsals wasn’t as exciting as before. I began to spend more time watching movies to fill the emptiness that just would not go away.
One evening, I was reading Francine Rivers’ Atonement child when Daniel came to see me. His eyes danced in excitement as he settled beside me. ‘Yewande, guess what? I met these guys on Instagram. They listened to your recording and they loved it. They are Christians like us and they are willing to make a deal with us. If I mention the amount they are willing to pay, you will be shocked.
’When he mentioned their names, I shook my head. I knew who they were. True, they produced gospel songs but I was aware they had no integrity. My friend had signed a deal with them but the producer had insisted she had sex with him otherwise the deal would be cancelled. Desperate to see her passion come to limelight, she agreed. Six months later, she was dumped.
‘I’m not interested.’ He flew into a rage. He grabbed my hand and shook it violently. I had never seen him that way in my life. ‘What is wrong with you! How can you throw away a big contract that’ll change our lives forever? You are going to do as I say!’ he released my hand and sighed. ‘They are in town and want to meet with you tomorrow. You can wear the dress I got you for your last birthday. I’ll get a make-up artist. Just make sure you get ready before 10a.m. Call your boss and tell him you are sick. He’ll understand. ’I stared at him, the dream I had about him was beginning to make sense. He was going to milk me dry. ‘I’m not going.’
He stood up. ‘Is this what you are learning about submission? I am your husband-to-be. ‘I shook my head. “Bro Daniel, this relationship was a mistake. It’s over. I can’t do this. I’m out”. I stood up from the sofa and entered my room. I called my mentor and I asked if I could spend the weekend with her. She agreed. For those days that I spent at her place, I couldn’t eat or do anything. This wasn’t what I envisioned for my first relationship.
I wondered if I’ll ever find love again. Daniel had announced to the choir that we were courting, how do I face them?My mentor entered the guest room as I arranged my belongings into a small travelling bag, ready to return to Benin. She hugged me and I almost started crying again. ‘Yewande, God’s ways are not your ways. Stop figuring the kind of man you want with your own understanding. That a person is in the same ministry as you are is no guarantee for a successful marriage. It doesn’t always work that way. Relax and let God lead you.
“That was what I did. I waited. A year later, I met my man. A small dark man. Uyi works with the technical unit in my church. No, he doesn’t have a good voice. He goes off key every time he attempts to sing. We’ve been married for six years now. Six years of God’s faithfulness. Many times on my way out for a ministration, Uyi would stand at the door, holding one of my kids and say, ‘I’ll be praying for you.’ Many of my fans do not understand that the success of my ministry is tied to what happens in the secret place, behind closed doors. That man prays for me more than I pray for myself.
Right during our devotions and prayers together, the lyrics of my songs have taken shape. I’ve seen myself grow to become a better woman by his side and every time, I keep asking God to show me how to love him more. I’m moving to another aspect of my divine purpose. A call to mentor upcoming gospel artistes and music ministers . When I shared the burden in my heart with Uyi, he smiled.
“The day I proposed to you, God told me about it. Let me show you where I wrote it”. He reached into his box for one of his notes and flipped through it. He stopped at a page and I stared at it for a long time.
If the only reason you are saying Yes to him is because his ministry matches yours, please check with God first. If you feel she is the perfect choice because from the surface your vision seem to aligns with hers, Check with God first. God knows the end from the beginning. He has the blueprint of your life. He knows who can handle all He has called you to be. He sees beyond the present and understands the length and breath of your call.
Dear christian singles, here is a word God is laying on our heart as we are faced with decisions that’ll either impact or mar our lives.
‘Always check with me first.’
Even when you’ve checked, check again. I will instruct and show you the way you should go. I’ll guide you with my eyes.’
…Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path. Proverbs 3:5,6.
…Continue reading: The choirmaster wants to marry me – Part4