Does Virginity Equal Purity?


Marriage Ethics for Singles – Part 3

Does Virginity Equal Purity?

Also Read: Marriage Ethics for Singles – Part 2

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:28

In recent times, purity has been mistaken for virginity. It seems to be taught that once sex has not taken place, that person is “pure”. We forget that our thoughts and words also determine our purity (virginity). Involvement in certain actions which don’t necessarily go “all the way” but cross certain boundaries (as understood individually, knowing that our body is where Christ resides) also defile the body.

To really get what it means to be pure (virginity), let’s define it using the symbol of water. No matter how clear a glass or bowl of water is, if there is the tiniest particle in it, it can be considered harmful. Similarly, it does not matter if you are still a virgin (represented by the glass), even if only your mind (represented by the water) is corrupted (represented by the particle), then you are defiled.

I use the mind in this analogy because every act begins as a thought in the mind. Before you tell a lie, steal, or lay in bed with someone who is not your husband or wife, you must have thought about it. When you let it linger, it may then translate into action. This is why I would paraphrase the above scripture as:


“if anyone looks at the opposite sex lustfully, he or she has committed adultery or fornication in the mind.”

So, it is not about whether or not you are a virgin, but whether or not you remain pure. Let purity be your state of being. It requires the constant cleansing of your spirit, soul, and body (1 John 3:3). God is pure and in Him there is no filthiness. He has called you to be pure like Him and has given you the power to do so, through the help of the Holy Spirit. From today, therefore, shun those impure thoughts! Flee from every appearance of evil or any defiling habit. Also, mind the friends you move with, what they talk about, watch and do. More so, guard yourself with the Word of truth, so you don’t get swayed by every wind of doctrine.

Remember, you are precious in God’s eyes, and you deserve the best. -FAO

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