Marriage Ethics for Singles – Part 8
The Right Move
Also Read: Marriage Ethics for Singles – Part 7
Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. -1 Corinthians 6:8
Mike, a spirit-filled brother is engaged to Ann, who although spiritual, doesn’t see anything wrong in wearing make-up, jewelries or fitted dresses. Mike does not appreciate this very much because he’d rather have her be more moderate in her appearance.
In another instance, Ayo, a good friend of Mike, chose to get married to Ibukun who is less bothered about the way she looks, even though he prefers a lady like Ann who is fashion conscious. Now, both brothers found something in these ladies which made them unwilling to let go; yet, they would have preferred that their spouses-to-be dress the way they like. They both eventually got married and decided to make these women fit into what they believed in or desired. Failure to change would amount to insubordination, quarrels and possibly, divorce.
While it is not wrong to hope or pray for a change in a person, it is totally wrong to get married with the hope of totally altering someone’s life. In fact, it’s defrauding him or her. Marriage is a choice; it is neither a commandment nor Christian expectation. So, you must be sure of your compatibility, in even minute areas, before you decide to get married to someone.
Don’t choose a life partner because of a small thing, when you know you have a challenge with a major aspect of that person’s life. Remember, marriage is for a lifetime, and you might not be able to cope if there are major challenges. No one is in the position to change another person. It is the duty of the Holy Spirit to convict and transform and He does that for Himself, not for you (John 16:7-8).
So, as you prepare for marriage, consider your beliefs and what you are comfortable with. Then, keep watch in prayers, for someone of similar qualities. Remember, like attracts like. So, if you are attracted to the opposite of what you want, then you must watch it. You will not miss it, in the name of Jesus Christ!