Divorce is a path moving people into deeper pain than a way out of marital crisis. In all domains of life, quitters never win – this including marriage. When your marriage is going through crisis, it is better to hang in there and find a solution than to desire to leave the boat. Leaving is too high a price pay for a temporal crisis or trouble. Let’s look at the 3 reasons why you should never divorce and also see practical steps to saving your marriage and family from all sorts of crisis.
The worst experience anyone could experience is divorce, it is worse than death. Many have no idea of how deep it is until they find themselves in it. The word divorce comes from the Latin word “to defect” used in the military. Defection is turning your back away on a cause you promised to die for therefore the penalty was death. So no matter the crisis going on in your marriage, divorce is definitely too far fetch a solution. Let’s look at 3 reasons you should reconsider on divorce and 5 proposed steps to fixing your marriage.
The reasons you should never divorce are:
1) Divorce Traumatizes Your Life
The bitter experience of terminating your marriage and getting your heart broken will leave you with wounds that take a lifetime to heal and scars that never disappear. It feels like a deep hole is created in your heart and all that is life and good is slipping into it. The trauma of divorce usually leaves its victims lacking self-esteem, self-worth, frustrated, fearful and sometimes demented. The changes that come with are quite tough for the mind to process; the total change of identity from married to single, the change in the way activities are done, a change of home and also change of name for women. Your whole identity is affected and according to psychologist, the number one human problem is identity crisis.
2) Divorce Traumatizes Your Children
Most at times, children suffer the most in events of divorce. They suddenly have to get used living with only one parent or even sometimes a grandparent. The start seeing one their parents like some outcast who can’t live in the same home any longer with them. All these traumatize the child and considerably affects their childhood and growth though not very evident in the beginning. Children need the safety of a home and the support of both parents to develop good self-esteem and self-worth. A large majority of convicts trace their behavioral problems to a broken home
3) Divorce Tears Down Society
Though a couples divorce may appear to concern only both of them, it really concerns the whole nation. A nation is simply a collection of communities, which are a collection of families, which are a product of marriage. So every divorce affects the nation. When kids grow up lacking proper self-esteem and self-worth, they tend to not value anyone else since they don’t value themselves. It’s important to realize that skyrocketing numbers of street crimes and promiscuity is directly related to the many divorces and broken homes we have in our society today. So it is not your plight alone but that of a whole nation and the world.
So, if you fully comprehend the stakes here, you will realize that is better to be in that crisis and find a solution forward than to quit. Right away, I am going to propose a five steps formula to help you save your marriage. These steps will help anyone in one these situations/cases or any other;
- When where both spouses are willing and interested in saving their marriage and avoiding divorce.
- In the case where only one spouse is willing and interested in saving the marriage while the other spouse simply wants divorce – probably for selfish reasons.
- In the case where one spouse is being abused by the other spouse who may not necessarily care about the future of the marriage.